Welcoming Imbolc, And The Space Between The Seasons.

Hello, dear Mumma. 

Happy Sunday and happy Imbolc! Today is the mid-point between the winter solstice and spring equinox, and it reminds me how our ancestors put names to these special points in the calendar with such accuracy. 

‘Imbolc’ simply means ‘in the belly’, a time to get ready for the rebirth into a year of vibrancy and growth. For me, it is a reminder to keep under the blankets, enjoy the rest, and stop rushing towards the spring; it will be here in its own sweet time. This has been an especially poignant mindful practice with the storms that have been whirling around us throughout January, as if nature herself was reminding us that this is her time to stretch her wings and howl with the moon whilst we are indoors. 

Today, I wanted to write to you about how we can help nurture our bodies and minds, spirit and emotions as we transition from one season to the next as I have been thinking about motherhood, work, and our families. The equilibrium we are asked to find can feel almost impossible as we juggle these roles, but there are ways we can step a little closer to it each day.

The truth is that there is very little difference between the hard work we offer to people we work for at the office to what we do as Mums! We work so hard as new parents; the hours are much longer than we could have ever dreamed of when we were taking meetings, dealing with colleagues, or checking in on projects whilst keeping up with the never ending emails. Our nervous systems are wrecked in the first year of parenthood and the stress we feel is much chronic, because we don’t have any break! . 

So why is it that, as a society, we do not encourage the same kind of self-care, if not more so, to new Mummas and Dads? As a doula, I feel that a lot of my work is taking the heaviness of guilt that leaves the women I work with asking the same question; why is it that Mummas are somehow morphed into people who should just be able to cope on two hours of broken sleep a night, random snacks, no routine, and very little fun?! 

Our nervous systems need deep regulation on a regular, daily, basis. Without looking after our core systems, our mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health starts to falter, and that is not a good place to find ourselves. No one wants to feel as if they are spiralling!

This is why I am passionate for myself, as well as my clients, that this is the time of year where we can embrace the healing vibrancy of calm rest for ourselves, so that we can then care for Bubs and our family afterwards. 

To help me through my cancer journey, motherhood, work balance, as well as all the things in the space between, I am a keen fan of popping in some very simple techniques to help my  nerves simmer down and keep things  flowing smoothly. 

The main one is a very basic breath work. Simply box breathing (breathing in for a count of 4, holding for 4, out for 4, hold for 4, and repeat), can help reset and calm the nervous system within around a minute - a quick fix if ever there was one! You can extend the counts as you calm, but the very act of standing and choosing to breathe with intention can deescalate a lot of situations quickly, even when the bin bag has split open, Bubs is crying, and the phone is buzzing all at the same time. 

Holding Bubs skin-to-skin calms you both down within seconds, and if you can rock your body easily from side to side at the same time, you are going to be feeling more grounded before you know it. This primal reset gets us back to centre without any complicated systems. Just like as deep mid-winter reminds us; simplicity is best at these points in life. 

Although it is stormy, a good old stomp outside can do wonders for our soul! Yesterday was tipping it down with rain, and by the end of a rather stressful day at work I was feeling agitated and jittery. Rather than stay indoors, I shoved my arms through my raincoat, my feet into welly boots, and popped the dog on a lead for a very wet walk around the village. With the wind whipping  around me and the water falling on me from all directions, by the time I got home I felt more relaxed than if I had been on the yoga mat for two hours. Sometimes you just have to get out there and move it out of your body! 

Thinking about how we would encourage our work friends with how to look after themselves through a stressful mid-winter, I do encourage my clients to book in some childminding time so that they can go out either on their own or with their partners to go and watch a movie, take a yoga class, enjoy that sauna, or just have a coffee in town and stare at a wall for an hour! Time away from the situation you are always in is vital for your own self-care, and family, friends, and doulas (!) are more than happy to facilitate that for you, as we know you are going through physical warfare right now. 

Imbolc, for me, is a time where I can start to see the end of being in the belly of winter. I can start to feel my fingers and toes stretch towards springtime, and there are little bubbles of spring fizzing in me as I see the snowdrops pop their heads above the ground to welcome the changes. There is a balance between the seasons to enjoy at this time of year, because if we bounce into spring without the joyful rest that winter has offered us, we are bound for a crash come mid-summer. 

I hope that this weekend is a restful one for you and that you are able to enjoy the full nature of the season that we are in. As for me, I am planning on a weekend walk with my hubby as our daughter plays netball, some wonderful comfort food in the form of golden daal, and watch some movies with the fire burning brightly in the wood burner . 

Until next time, remember, 

Once your doula, always your doula 

Love, Sam xx