Gently Supporting Your Mental Health PostPartum - How Your Doula Can Help.

Everything changes after you welcome Little One into yoru family.

Hello everyone, 

I hope that you have been enjoying the beautiful spring sunshine so far this May . The sun has blessed us with days of blue skies and warmth, which has made me feel as if summer has come early. I made an early morning cup of tea this morning, listening to the birds singing in the garden, and wanted to write about how gently supporting your mental health postpartum can be a life affirming time during the first year after bubs is born. I am passionate about illustrating how your doula can help your transition over the 12 months after birth, as this is a key focus for me at Mumma-Baby Space, and I hope that this blog might be helpful and encouraging.

The First Aid Box

Medication is there to help us thrive!

I want to be really real with you; I have been there with hormonal depression, and alongside the holistic approach I implement into my own health and wellbeing, I weave it around my prescribed medication and talking therapy sessions. 

Seeking medical help does not make anyone weak, and it doesn’t make you a Mumma who is anything less than courageous. The preconceived ideas that I had picked up from unhealthy narratives around me that told me that I should be in control and have the ability to do all the things was certainly a barrier that I had to overcome when I reached out for help, but I came to the healthier realisation that it doesn’t mean that you are not a strong mumma, it simply means that sometimes our brain’s chemicals need some leveling, and that’s o.k. 

To be honest, without my antidepressants, there are times I would not have been able to show up for my family and my friends in meaningful or loving ways, and I certainly wouldn’t have been in a place to help my clients in the way that I do. It has also given me a broader understanding of the complexities we all so often face and a greater empathy. I see my medication as part of a whole package of health, rather than the only thing I rely on. 

If you need to talk to your medical providers about support after you have given birth, the teams are there to help you through, and to make sure that you are in the best possible place to enjoy becoming a mum, rather than trying to drag yourself through the first year. 

How Your Doula Can Help: During your sessions with me, we can arrange times where I can actively listen and help you attend your appointments in whatever capacity you need, and I am always here to support your choices and decisions. You are not alone, and as a team, we can conquer anything! 

Stretch The Edges

Relaxing the edges with stretches in your pj's is the best way to ease the rough edges.

When you are feeling blue, the worst thing to hear is being told to ‘Try exercise!’. The idea of doing star jumps, running, or struggling into a swimsuit, can make the comfort of the duvet even more inviting! However, the annoying thing is that the science says that movement will help a lot as it produces endorphins, which allow our brains to feel a little less blue. 

The best thing that I, and many others, have found to help start a movement routine that is supportive and nourishing is the practice of Yin or restorative Yoga. It can be done in your pj’s and in the comforting surroundings of your own home. The slow stretches of Yin Yoga allow your body to release the physical tension that a tight feeling brain can produce. Focusing your attention on the slowing of your breathing, especially in a restorative session, extending the ‘out breath’ and feeling the cool calm of the ‘in breath’ in your nose can help break the thought loops that have the habit of dragging us down. 

Starting new exercise routines needs to be signed off by your healthcare provider after you have given birth, after which you can simply drag a few pillows, a yoga bolster if you have one, and a blanket on the floor and enjoy the stretches that will help ease your body and calm your mind. 

The best apps I have found for this are ‘Jess Yoga’, who offers slow guided Yin Yoga classes in a realistic and easy flow, as well as ‘Yoga with Adrienne’ who offers many types of yoga sessions online. They not only give you safe guidance on how to arrange your supportive props and gently move into the poses, but their slow meditations and breath work help to lower anxious minds and regulate our nervous systems when everything feels too jangly. 

How Your Doula Can Help: If you are in a space where you would like to be with people in a class, but need some help getting there and combining it with caring for bubs, we can chat over a cuppa and work out a plan for you. I can also be at your home with bubs if you would like to stay in your pj’s whilst you hang out on your mat!

The Anchor In The Storm

Finding the routines can help us ride the storms together.

The waves of grief and depression are temperamental at best. They buffet you about in ways that can be scary when you don’t feel you have a firm place to stand in your own boat as you try to ride the storms. 

Routines can become anchors in the great big sea of motherhood. I am not a fan of the routine concept for babies under at least six months,  However, I guarantee you, doing things each day to make YOU feel in control can become anchors that you can become foundations. 

Enjoying a hot cuppa in the afternoon during their nap time became one of my favourites when I became a Mum. It felt like a treat, and wasn’t reliant on a strict schedule, it just happened when my daughter slept. This time evolved into the spot in the day when I started getting into journalling. It was a simple 30 minutes of time when I could enjoy being myself rather than being ‘a new mum’, and over time, this tea time allowed me to find my personality and identity again. 

How Your Doula Can Help: When we meet together at our check-ins, we can take a good look at what you enjoy doing that makes you feel anchored. Once we find them, we can start to make flexible plans to add them into your days, and when I am with you for your sessions, we can make them a priority whilst I look after bubs so you can get some quality ‘You Time’. 

Let It All Flow Out

Talking through your emotions with people you can trust is your Power Tool.

All the feelings are welcome! Love, joy, grief, sadness, happiness, rage, peace… none of these feelings have a correct order to be gone through, and you can feel them all in one day. Welcome their flow, and try not to put a dam in the way that causes you to bottle them up. As your hormones start to settle over the weeks and months after your birth, your emotions will be on a wild rollercoaster, and you may stand in wonder at the illogical nature of them! But they are real for the time you are feeling them, so let it all flow out of you. 

How Your Doula Can Help: Doulas are always here for you to be yourself in the moment, and we realise that there is no ‘fixing’ to be done; it’s simply enough to ride the waves with you. \

Celebrate!!

Getting out with Bubs in nature is something to celebrate and embrace!

When I see new Mummas in town, I often smile and feel so proud of them, thinking , ‘well done, you’ve got this!’. The fact that they have got out the door with all-the-things is an act of pure will power! If you have managed to find the time to brush your teeth, have a shower, or make sure that bubs is fed and changed, you need to celebrate, as they are big wins each day. 

How Your Doula Can Help: I love celebrating you during the wild and beautiful transition into motherhood, and there is nothing too small to see as a win. Becoming a Mumma is the hardest thing you will ever do, and sometimes we just need to release the party poppers and say that we got through another Tuesday; I am here for it!

You are not supposed to have it all together.

Rest. It heals and comforts your both.

There’s no other way of saying it: You are not supposed to have it all together. It’s a myth that your house can be cleaned in the 45 minutes of fractured nap times when bubs has a cold. Quite frankly, at those times you need to be on the sofa, under a blanket, with your hot tea and journal, and a candle burning on the coffee table. You shouldn’t be worried about another load of laundry.

How Your Doula Can Help: You are all that your baby needs, and that means that you need to be nurtured, which is exactly why I am here for you. As your doula, it is my role to make sure that you are supported in ways that are practical and meaningful to you. From making sure the laundry is turned over, getting the freezer packed full of nutritious home-cooked meals, and guaranteeing that you can have a shower in peace, I am your back up, and it is an honour to be here for you. 

Reach Out And Gather The Support

I'm always here to help you both.

Reaching out when you are feeling down is the hardest act, and that needs to be celebrated also. My role as a postnatal doula can help you through the wild ride of the first year after birth, and I can help in many different ways that are personal to you; no postnatal plan is ever the same and everything is fluid. As I come alongside you through your recovery, I look forward to finding out all about you, your family, and how you are choosing to create a new space to become yourself. 

I look forward to working with you, and remember…

Once your doula, always your doula. 

With love, 

Sam xx