This blog has been one that I have wanted to write for a while, as it answers the question I get asked all the time: “How do I become a doula?”
The reason people decide to become a doula is as unique as they are; no story is the same, but all are precious and meaningful. In this blog I want to share with you the very practical information about how to find the beginning of your path, and in January’s blog, I shall be telling you my own story of how I travelled down mine.
Becoming a doula is a decision to become a person who steps in to fulfil the supportive need that is felt by growing families within your community, whether that is for anti-natal help, post-natal needs, or during the early stages of the child’s life. Offering judgement-free emotional, and practical support to new families, as well as becoming the person that steps into a home no matter what is going on in their lives, is a privilege that I have known for nearly a decade. I feel that sharing the steps of how you can be invited into these homes and lives is something that I can offer you as well.
Here in the UK, there are many places to train as a doula, and I decided to study with Doula UK. Their values were ones I felt I could stand on in my working practice, and formed the ethos on which I help my clients today:
Promote life-changing support for women and birthing people in the childbearing year, regardless of circumstance
Nurture the doula community; protecting parents and health professionals
Advocate for better support for UK families
Doula UK offers accredited courses that enable you to gain not just the book-knowledge, but also the experiential knowledge that is so important in being a doula. There is an emphasis on helping between five to eight growing families under the mentorship program before you become a fully fledged doula, and for me, this was the perfect option. Doula UK focuses on becoming both a birth and/or a postnatal doula, and it was as I was going through their training when I realised that I wanted to solely focus on post-natal work, due to my own circumstances at home.
It is all too easy to get swept up with the excitement of becoming a doula; visions of popping into different homes each day with baskets of freshly cooked, wholesome, meals and allowing Mum to sleep whilst wearing Bubs and going for a walk can really get the oxytocin flowing. We all need grounding, and that is why the Introduction Workshops are always a great place to start before signing up to the full training. It is a fact that not every birth is perfect, and all will bring their own stories, and it is our job as doulas to help families through the rough times with grief and loss, as much as it is to celebrate the joyful times when all is going well. I firmly believe that by starting with the Introduction Workshops, and then training through mentored experience alongside structured ‘school time’ is the best way to learn how to navigate through these times. As a doula you will hold space for a huge variety of situations and emotions, and it is our job to be professional, empathic, kind and caring, and we cannot do that without the support and teaching of our elders.
Developing Doulas UK is another wonderful place to train as a doula and gain your accreditation, and I have a great relationship with them; attending sessions and offering companionship to newly trained doulas, or those going through the training process, which I adore
There are times when your training can wax and wane as your own life ebbs and flows. The joy of studying and experiencing the role of being a doula is that it wraps around your life at home. Whether you are juggling the daily ups and downs with your own small ones, different work patterns with your partner, or if you are a single parent who is searching for a profession that can flex with you; the time during your study and mentorship is where you find out what works for you, and how much you can offer your clients.
Receiving regular mentoring is a foundational part of becoming a doula and is a key part of learning, and my mentor was Victoria Greenley who runs Younique Postnatal, which is where the main postnatal accredited course can be found.
One-to-one mentoring is a fantastic time for you to develop a relationship and a safe-space to ask all the questions that you have, as well as de-brief fully from your experiences. As a doula you will face many situations that you never dreamed of once you are welcomed into your client’s home, at one of the most vulnerable times in their lives. To have a mentor who can guide you through these moments is key to your own wellbeing, personal growth and professional development.
Personally, I found that the goal setting that Victoria helped me create allowed me to develop my business right from the start, and this was due to the fact that she is such a great active listener and had huge experience! I also learned how to personally reflect on what had gone on for me in different spaces with all the families I worked with. Pulling lessons from each session was so valuable to me, and Victoria enabled me to see them through many perspectives, furthering my understanding of how I was helping as a post-natal doula. Being a mentee also helped me drop my own, often unknown, prejudices, so that I was better able to become an advocate for families who needed help.
Training as a doula also allows you to create your own professional boundaries; you are not becoming a nanny or a cleaner, you are there to support the parents in the family in ways that enable them to heal, grow and become the parent they choose to be. Walking beside them while bringing in wellness and self care is vital as Mum starts to process her birth story, and an unbiased listening ear is the most valuable thing you can offer her over a regular cup of tea.
My time as a mentee was transformative, and that is why I decided to become a doula companion with the Developing Doulas. As a ‘DD Companion’ I am able to help those who want to help the families close to them, and it is always a joy to see them grow in confidence and understanding.
Becoming a doula is not an overnight transformation, and nor should it be, but it is one of the most rewarding, life enhancing, and life changing professions. It is an honour that I hold dear, and I love supporting people who want to join our tribe!
In my next blog I shall be sharing more about my own story about how I became a post-natal doula,
and I hope that this one has answered some of your questions about how to start the process of learning. If you would like to get in touch with me, please do email as I would love to hear from you! Just click the button below to contact me.
Until the next time, remember; once your doula, always your doula,
With love, Sam xx
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