Life stories always look so ordered when they are written out. There’s a beginning, a middle point, and then a conclusion that lands on, or around, the day of writing. Then, there’s normally some neat sign off along the lines of “and my best days are ahead of me, ready to grasp fully, so that I can embrace all life has to offer”.
As I sit here and think about all that has happened, I can safely say it has been a wild ride to this point! As I share my story with you about how I became a post-natal doula, it is important to say that I hope that my journey helps you reflect on the paths you are treading in your own life that have brought you to the place where you are considering becoming part of this amazing professional tribe!
If someone had told me on my twentieth birthday that within ten years I would have worked for Daniel Craig as his Miss Moneypenny (aka his personal assistant) as he filmed Bond, met Kylie Manouge, had a fulfilling career, but also faced breast cancer right in the face and worked through the first treatment of what became four rounds of the blighter, I would have walked away from you laughing. But that is exactly what happened as I traversed the early 2000s.
By the time I met Pete, my wonderful husband, I had already been through chemo and radiotherapy, I had scars from where they had taken lymph nodes and cancer out of me, and I was on the drug that would be the inspiration for our future dog’s name; Moxy. Tamoxifen is no joke, and I was delighted to come off it just after we were married, and five months before I became pregnant with our daughter in 2009. Cancer was part of my life before starting our family, and it has become the shadow that we continue to live with.
Although I enjoyed a relative calm period for a two years when I put my energies into being a Mum, and raising £6000 for cancer research in the spring of 2012, by the June of that year, we were getting our heads around the fact that my oestrogen resistant breast cancer had reemerged in my left sternum, and it was time to face up to another war. I had to go back on the dreaded Tamoxifen four weeks before we moved into the home we cherish today.
Between more surgeries (including a double mastectomy and reconstruction), radiotherapy and continual doctors appointments where I found out I had polycystic ovaries and am insulin resistant, I started to blog. Sam’s Space became a place where I could record what I was going through, both as a log for myself so I could reflect, but also with the hope of helping other women in their early 30’s who were going through this as well. This time in my life taught me how valuable wellbeing and holistic care were, and they became the backbone of how I was able to cope with all that was swirling around me. I studied reflexology and mindfulness, I connected with therapists for body and mind work, and I made sure that the community around me was supportive, and also one that I was able to support when I had the strength.
As the ten year marker hit of my first diagnosis, the Sam’s Space website was born! Looking back on the time, I see that I was already practicing the care and support that comes with being a post-natal doula. Hot cups of tea, healthy snacks, signposting to organisations and charities, as well as the ever present shoulder to cry on, were the things I loved to offer to those who felt lost and alone. But most importantly, we did this together in community; Sam’s Space was a tribe of wonderfully strong women that held space for each other.
When my sister’s pregnancy came to term in 2015, I had the unique privilege of becoming her birth partner. Georgie’s husband was away at the time, and so her birthing doula and I were there for the birth of their sweet daughter Ava. It was a life changing moment, and it became the pivot point in my life.
Georgie’s birth doula offered me the chance to switch direction in my life and help support the women in my area who were growing their own families. This refocusing also offered me the opportunity to gently move away from the ‘Cancer World’ and find new spaces where I could find positivity and new beginnings with growing families, and women who were healing after their lives had changed in ways that can never be fully comprehended.
As 2016 rolled around I was accepted onto Zara’s doula course. I was still heavily involved with Sam’s Space at the time, and so the two dovetailed beautifully together. As my daughter was still so young at the time, the juggle was real! Between school rides, play dates, and all the other joys that come with keeping little ones entertained, I started to enjoy studying for my doula course as I could make it work around a very busy home life, which enabled my husband to work in different countries on a regular basis, often for weeks at a time.
Within a couple of years, and as I recovered from a preventative full hysterectomy lying in another hospital bed, I became an officially approved doula! It was such a joyful moment, and it meant that I could start to find my feet along my new path, and take new strides forward. For many reasons, the major surgery made a lot of sense for my health and wellbeing, and took away the fear of the oestrogen receptive cancer hitting me there. As secondary infertility had hit hard after my previous diagnosis, it also felt as if I was aligning myself with the reality of how my body was working with me in life. Rather than battling with infertility, it was time to wrap my arms around it, grieve and honour it, and move forward with the beautiful family that life had blessed me with. The healing was a success, and I am so thankful to the wellbeing therapists behind me that helped me thrive post surgery.
Being able to go out and start to grow my business as a post-natal doula was a dream come true. I could not have been happier to start under the continued guidance from my tribe that I still seek out today; we can never have enough mentorship. I am now delighted to be passing this on to the developing doulas that I now help through their own training. Being a doula is all about working with the flow, and in 2019 we opened the doors to our first MotherSpace, which we still enjoy each month.
We had been going steady for a while, and then the shadow started to creep out of the corners of our lives and take up all the oxygen in the house; I was diagnosed for the fourth time deep in the depths of lockdown in 2020. I was offered the lifesaving treatment of Palbociclib medication, which keeps the cancer cells suppressed. It is a life long commitment to go to the treatment place, and I went through a couple of minor surgeries to make the three weekly medication infusions at the hospital more manageable. But cancer hit my family in another, terrible way in 2023 when my Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer, and latterly with a brain tumour, which took him away from us just before Christmas 2024.
Becoming a birthing doula was an incredibly natural step for me. It felt like a perfect calling. I was caring for those around me and offering support, whilst seeking it for myself. The natural ebb and flow of energy is something that I have dialed into for the past twenty years. There are times when I have obviously had to put everything down so I could conserve my energy to fight for myself, but now I am steady and healthy, I have been able to dig in and look after the amazing families that I see through my work as a birthing doula.
Cancer has formed a huge part of my story, but without it, Sam’s Space would not have been born, and I would not have had the skills to naturally step into the post-natal doula world. The dovetail join that they created has been so strong that they have helped support many people, myself, my family, and my clients, step into new adventures in truly wholesome ways.
The one thing cancer has taught me is that we cannot do anything if we are not connected, just as it takes a village to raise a child. It is now, and always will be, my privilege to be part of your village.
And remember, once your doula, always your doula.
With my love,
Sam xx
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