Why do I need a postpartum plan?

In today's blog we are going to answer one of the most common questions I am asked by new parents: Why do I need a postpartum plan? By looking at three of my top answers, we can get a clear understanding of why your postpartum plan is so important. 

Why make another plan? 

I can honestly understand why people feel like another plan can be annoying as it can feel like an overwhelm with everything that is to come with the birth. Not only is there a slight pang of panic that your life is about to be turned upside-down and you have no idea what is about to hit you, (let alone what colour you are going to paint the nursery), you now have people asking what your plan is once all the midwives and doctors have receded into the background. 

Apart from knowing that sleep (in the paraphrased words of Johnny Depp), will suddenly become as addictive as hard substances, the rest of it is all a little hazy. At this point, I step in and help so that you can find a lot of peace, and achieve a better grip on the whirlwind that is flying around you. 

Postpartum vs Birth Planning

Postpartum planning for when you and bubs come home from the hospital, as well as sometimes dovetailing the care that you would like to receive from your birth doula and me. I often get calls when the birth has happened, which is my call to action to go round to my client’s house and drop off either snacks and goodies for the hospital, or to make sure there is a homemade nourishing meal ready to pop in the oven when you all come home. Equally, if you have chosen a home-birth, I can pop in and make sure everyone in the team is cared for once bubs is with us safe and sound. 

Now you are home, what’s next? 

Once you are home, it is important to rest for at least the next six weeks, whether you have had a cesarean section or not! For the first ten days, I encourage all my new Mummas to stay near their comfy cosy bedroom and enjoy the bonding time with bubs. No one needs to go anywhere, and you don’t even need to have visitors over if you don’t want to - it is all up to you and where you want to place those precious boundaries. Enjoy the time in your nest, and once you want to emerge you can start to see the power of your postpartum plan. 

My Top Three Questions To Help You Plan. 

When I meet new clients before they give birth, we sit down with a cup of tea, some cake, and a lot of paper so that we can scribble and hatch the perfect plan. I find out about them, and where they want the support I can offer, and the most important three questions I can ask are these:

• What support do you need to help bolster your weakest areas so you don’t feel out of control? 

• How can we encourage your strengths to become the bedrock of stability in your new routines? 

• Where in your home do you feel most at ease and in peace, and how can we make that the sanctuary that you can return to when you need it the most? 

What support do you need to help bolster your weakest areas so you don’t feel out of control? 

Supporting your weakest areas allows you to rebuild them from the ground up with your new family; by talking about them in the open and finding ways to strengthen them in your own way allows you to grow into the Mumma that you would love to be!

We all have areas in our lives that can feel a little off balance, whether that is a lack of structure around household chores like laundry and cooking, or setting healthy boundaries with family members. Supporting you may look like a blend of making sure that your kitchen is working effectively for you and that your freezer is packed with my homemade and tasty, nutrient dense goodies, whilst role playing gentle ways of setting firm boundaries that keep you safe in your nest. 

I often find that a lot of women struggle to take time for themselves to heal and look after themselves without a lot of guilt following them. Supporting women who have given birth can be a wonderful adventure in teaching radical selfcare! When women who are rooted in themselves raise their children, they become powerful and grounded. Offering women the ability to find their roots and inner wisdom is one of the most amazing transformations that I see in my work, and I love it so much for them! 

How can we encourage your strengths to become the bedrock of stability in your new routines? 

Your routines will undoubtedly change with a new family member in the house! Finding your strengths so that you can build on them is a wonderful way of navigating this adventure with a little more ease. 

For all my creative Mummas, it can be a time to reimagine the world around them and their baby. Creating small moments of interest each day to introduce their babies can fill their creative tanks whilst introducing Bubs beautifully into the environment they live in. From making a mindful, daily routine of walking in the neighbourhood and talking through everything that you see, hear and smell, as well as the changes that you see each day not only grounds you, but also bubs as well.

Some of my clients are highly organized, and for them the peace comes from structured time blocking. This offers grounded peace in a very practical way that offers them their own feeling of control and peace when all around them is new and a little crazy! Regularly booking in sessions at community breastfeeding drop-ins, or making sure that Mumma-Baby yoga is attended to each week, whilst also making sure that each day has a cleaning routine around the house can be incredibly calming. 

I often find that there is a blend between the two, and finding those strengths to create a family dynamic that gives Mumma and their partner stability and peace whilst working on very little sleep with a pile of nappies that need to be thrown out is the key to postpartum planning by answering the key question: How is this going to work for you?

Where in your home do you feel most at ease and in peace, and how can we make that the sanctuary that you can return to when you need it the most? 

I encourage you to nest, not only in the first six weeks, but for the days, months and years to come. 

Creating a calm space in your home that you can return to easily can be the difference between a day that collapses in on itself, or one that has a half hour hiccup that you can recover from. (One client calls it her ‘adult time-out space’.) This can be a nook in your home that you already have, like a reading chair, or a space in your bedroom that you can just cuddle into, but making it a designated place for you to be able to retreat to is key. For me, it is the corner where I do my yoga; I can roll out my mat and just lay on it with a blanket over me and breathe deeply for ten minutes, or I can gently stretch and allow my nervous system to regulate again. 

You will know where this place is for you in your home, and by making it a beautiful area that gives rest and restoration to you, you will find that you can recharge there and offer more to your family when you all need it the most. 

Adding plants, a coffee table, your journal, a book and a small lamp in this space is a great way of making it fresh and personal. Along with a blanket and a beloved cushion, it will become the place you think about when you close your eyes in the supermarket bathroom when Bubs has exploded a nappie; you can imagine yourself there, take a deep breath, and become grounded and present again. It will travel with you as long as you allow it to. 

All plans can be broken!

Plans are just plans! We create them, and then we change them as needed. They are flexible and allow us to have a clear path around the road blocks that come up when we least expect them. As long as we have spent time asking these questions whilst delving into others, we can come to the postpartum time with a calm mind and heart. 

I love the planning stage as it clearly shows me what is important to my clients and their families. We can make plans that work around Dad’s work schedule, and make sure that there is help around for him as well; does he need someone around to do the ‘weekend jobs’ for a couple of months when you are all settling down to a new routine? Does he want to cook in the evenings during the week but have the weekends off? All these small details make a world of difference, and they are all highly valuable. 

Over this winter I am planning with three amazing new clients, and over the new year we will be welcoming their new babies and making sure their space is warm and nurturing. 

For more information about post-natal doula care, head over to my website and sign up for the monthly newsletter, and I look forward to writing to you again soon. 

Remember, once your doula, always your doula! 

Love, Sam xx