Exploring The Space Of Healing.

The Celebration Of Motherhood

As I sit back in my chair and close my eyes, I can still see the white sand and turquoise ocean in Thailand that formed the backdrop to my morning yoga rituals at the beginning of April. I can hear our teacher encouraging us to stretch into our back-bodies, sinking deep into the breath of Down Dog. I can feel my ribs expand, my spine strong whilst it supports their articulation. I relish the contraction of my out-breath as I expel a deep sigh that releases the tension of a winter that has been bound within me. 

This form of daily movement meditation was a much needed part of our holiday together as a family this year. The winter was long for all of us in the UK, and for our family we needed some time to reconnect under the tropical sun. Part of growing in my own Motherhood has been the joy (and admitted sadness), of seeing my teenage daughter grow up and find her own wings. Holidays have taken on a new shape as she is now happy to explore on her own, coming back to us in order to touch base and describe what she is experiencing. She offers her own ideas on what would be fun, and it is a beautiful time to see her flourish in knowing her own self, her likes and dislikes, what she finds restful and invigorating. I love having the space to see her in a new light away from home. It’s as if the curtains are drawn back and we can all see each other again with fresh eyes in new light. With her growth, my own experience of travelling is changing, and I am finding the need to start each day in a quiet space with movement so that I can recharge my batteries before the fun of the day starts. 

Carving out space as a Mum can be one of the hardest challenges, especially when you are raising children on your own! But for me, I learned very early on that if I didn’t receive the guided input from professional therapists around me, I just couldn’t be the best mother and wife that I knew that I could be. I also found that I couldn’t be true to my own calling without time away from the joyful chaos of life that a family brings. I also think that my rounds of breast cancer have almost forced me to learn that resting, receiving help, and eating nourishing food help heal us quicker than we can think. 

When I meet new Mums in the role as their postpartum doula, I am always struck at how quickly their nervous systems relax and calm when they receive a back massage from me, or (let’s be honest here) simply a hug. The look of bliss after they have enjoyed a pelvic binding ceremony to help close what has expanded never gets old. Offering a good old fashioned foot soak and massage has to be one of the best ways to soothe their body after a sleepless night with a colicky bubs. Supportive, caring, neutral touch brings us back to ourselves; our vagus nerve takes a breath and we are able to enjoy the safe surroundings we find ourselves in. 

Thai Massage Is Carried Out Fully Clothed In Light Cotton.

As we rested in Thailand, I received my first Thai massages and I confess that my body sank into them as if it had finally found something it had been seeking for a while. As my therapists moved my body into passive stretches, they found space my joints could enjoy that I never knew was there. We played around the edges of my comfort, and I trusted that they would safely lead me to new places within myself. My body began to move in new ways, settle into positions it had been searching for, and my spine felt the relief that only comes when breath, body,and mind come together in a still point. 

Combined with the heat of my yoga sessions under the morning sun, the massage sessions unlocked a wealth of creativity that had felt stuck behind the winter fog. My writing has taken a back seat for the past couple of months, and it was a joy to be able to put pen to paper and simply write. Streams of consciousness, thoughts that were as fresh as the mangos on the table, ideas that had been trying to come to the surface for months came surging to the forefront of my mind, all eager to be put down either on paper, or on my screen. 

The more I look into the benefits of therapy, all kinds of therapy, the central theme of ‘Togetherness’ comes out for me. When I am working at my best, in any of my roles, it is when my body, mind, heart, and spirit are aligned. When this happens, I am not only aware that I am feeding my soul and form correctly, but I am also able to offer to others around me in equal abundance; I feel neither drained, nor too full, I am simply running at my most creative and optimum level. But this takes time to achieve, and it is down to daily habits, which can be the hardest to encourage new Mumma’s who feel so overwhelmed they can’t see past the overly stacked dishwasher. I get it. I am

Often  there too. 

When I encourage people to take time out for themselves, I know that it will never be Instagram perfect, as it isn’t for me either. When I am back home, taking time to work on my projects may look like typing a blog on my phone as I sit in the car waiting for my daughter's netball practice to finish (late, again). When I read books that nourish my mind and allow my understanding to grow, it will often be a snatched 15 minutes in the hospital waiting room. However, all these intentional moments add up, rather than being crammed into the day. I will plan them, even if it is a simple thought-plan as I make a smoothie for the school run in the morning, that intent carries weight throughout the day. 

The ability to weave in hands-on therapy and yoga sessions can be tricky when routines are so out of whack in the first year after your birth. It is exactly why, at that time, I encourage weekend and evening self-care in its fullest form! Partners and friends are there to help (as well as your doula!), and asking for a couple of hours to yourself for a yoga class, massage, whatever takes your fancy, is perfectly reasonable. It is great for Bubs to be with them when you are somewhere else relaxing. Scheduling appointments can feel like a huge juggle when you are a new parent, however it is a vital part of growing in your family. 

Some of my clients find their peace in reading, writing, and art. During our times together as I help them find their feet in that precious first year, we often build in time for them to go to a quiet part of their home to enjoy their own form of self-care. Whilst I wear Bubs in the wrap, I can potter around the kitchen and fill the fridge up with nutrient dense yummy foods. Or, if the weather is fine, we go on a walk around the garden or in the park if. The focus of these sessions is for Mum to get her own time to recharge, refill, and find themselves again. 

Back in my chair, my eyes still closed, there is a smile on my lips. Travelling has always been the way we connect as a family, and my memories of Thailand are filled with laughter and fun, relaxation and re-connection. I am so fortunate to be able to build these memories with the people that I love, but also rebuild and strengthen my relationship with myself. As my daughter grows, we also grow, and this time is to be honoured and to be held in thanks. 

The Stillness That The Singing Bowls Can Offer Us Can Never Be Over Stated.