Building Our Community

Putting down roots, and building our community.

Hello everyone! 

If you have been following me on Instagram, or reading my newsletter over the summer, you will know that my work also incorporates supporting mentee post-natal doulas as their Companion. This growth in our community is a true celebration of strong connections and healthy families! Building our community takes time and intention, so in today’s blog I want to look at  how we are growing together as the seasons roll around. 

We thrive when we are work together, whether that is at home in our personal lives, or when we are with other people.  We can bounce ideas around, grow in our understanding, offer wisdom from our experiences, and gain fresh ways of seeing the world. Isolation is never the ideal, which is why building a community of supportive post-natal doulas has become a passion of mine over the years. Together, we can support the families around us, as well as each other in our work.

Supporting Mumma's and Dad's through the every part of the journey.

Don’t get me wrong; we all need personal alone time where we can journal, meditate, enjoy a hot cup of tea, or simply gaze at the nature around us (for myself, I need at least an hour each day!). However, we need an interconnected community that we can give in to and receive from. 

Being a companion for women seeking support in their work is a joy and a privilege, but what I was not expecting was the amount of fun that it has brought with it! From organizing workshop days about traditional herbal practices, hosting massage courses, and making sure regular seasonal retreats are booked in the diary, I can safely say that being part of the doula community is never dull! I have learned so much from other practitioners, and I love to see the people who attend the sessions grow in their own work as well. 

This was brought home to me over the late spring when the general media sparked a needless panic about baby wearing with slings. As a post-natal doula we are trained in how to use them, and how to teach parents the safest way to implement them to help connect with Bubs through skin-to-skin contact, as well as utilise the practical advantages of having both your hands free! Within a week, our community had got together for a workshop to spruce up our knowledge, bring up all the situations and conversations we had had with our clients about slings, and learned from Zoe, who helped us navigate tricky set ups and awkward questions. 

Baby wearing is a wonderful way to connect with yoru baby.

I think it is important to see the value of groups that come together through a season in our lives that can be tricky to navigate. Being a new parent is so tough; sleep deprivation is used as a torture device for a reason, and parents are expected to put up with it without complaining too much! To be honest, one of the most rewarding parts of being a doula for my families is being able to take Bubs on a walk  so that Mumma or Dad can sleep, as I know that they will be more refreshed and able to do a great job when they wake up. It’s these seemingly ‘little things’ that go a long way to help families find their feet when everything feels upside-down. 

Going to a group like a breastfeeding drop-in can feel a little surface level, and I have heard a couple of people say that it is just another reason for coffee and cake, but I think that shows very little understanding of what goes on in those sessions. Not only are Mumma’s supported in how they are getting on with nurturing their newborns, but they enter a community where they can drop their shoulders and be honest about how they are feeling. All the feels are welcome, from the utter exhaustion of sleepless nights, to the excitement of Bub’s first smile, crawl and toddle. Fears about weaning are aired in a non-judgemental environment, as well as the stories of unhelpful comments from strangers, friends and family. Adverts for these mornings may look cozy, but behind them is an open invitation to step into a supportive community that is there for each other in practical and emotional ways. 

Breastfeeding groups help support you in yoru own community.

I also believe that being a doula in the community allows me to share lots of contacts! My passion is nutrition and movement, and I am looking to extend my training and qualifications in both over the coming year so that I can help those around me more. However, there are wonderful pediatric nurses that I work with who I refer clients to, as well as sleep experts, weaning consultants, fitness trainers, osteopaths and lactation specialists. All these wonderful women are part of my community so that they can come in to help you! My Little Black Book is always growing, and I am so pleased to share other people’s expertise with you. 

Being part of regular coffee mornings and group sessions are also a great way to take care of your own mental and physical health. When you are going through the first year of parenthood it is good to take regular stops to check in with how you are feeling mentally and physically. Your emotions are on a rollercoaster, and when you are with other people that you trust and know you they can often be the ones to throw up a flag and make sure you are checking in with your general medical practitioners, midwives, dentists, and families before things become too big to face. We look out for each other, knowing that we have our best interests at heart whilst our lives flip around and take on new shape and meaning. 

Dads need support too!

It’s important for both Mums and Dads to have community time, and as I have written about in the past, it is crucial for Dads to have check in times with other guys in a community that they feel comfortable in. Lately, I heard about a group of men who met up on Saturday mornings and did woodwork together with all the kids being looked after in the garden; as one guy finished part of a project they walked over to the children while the guy that they were taking over from did something else. This gentle rotation allowed them all to be in the same place, talk, feel productive, and gave them time with their Bubs at the weekend. It was so simple, but worked profoundly on so many levels. 

Community matters, and the more we create time for friendship and connection, the  better we can feel. Whether it is helping to build my community of post-natal doulas, or gathering Mummas from my local area together, I cannot get over the power that hanging out together gives us! It is quite magical, and quite awe inspiring. 

Your local post-natal doula will have so many resources for you to use, so that you don’t have to do the hard work of sourcing information and recommendations are always more reliable. Ask your doulas  where the best drop-ins are, and how to find out about networks for new Mummas and Dads in your area; they will be delighted to help you! I offer a bible of local groups and clubs for new parents, and many other doulas will offer something similar too. Never feel alone or isolated as there is a wonderful community right there waiting to welcome you with open arms. 

Until next time, remember…

Once your doula, always your doula! 

Love, Sam xx